I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
