His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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