i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
