oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you traded sex for a burrito?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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