I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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