But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
