I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
