oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
