If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize