I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
