We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
