The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
