worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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