I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
