We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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