you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
