Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
