Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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