I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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