i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize