It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
