we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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