Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i came on her dog
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
