I got chris browned last night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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