elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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