Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
