No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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