But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
