OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
