Already got asked if we're dating
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
