I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
