I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
