Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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