I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
