They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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