I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
