So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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