ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
