Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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