I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize