hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize