i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
