Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
