Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the night ended with taco bell and tears
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
