My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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