so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
