It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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