I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
