dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
