My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
