I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
