oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
