Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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