What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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