Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
