this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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