I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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