I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
