I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
