Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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