I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
