he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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