My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
