Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
