I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
