Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
