She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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